Shared Values

When two dolphins have sex, they don’t talk with their fellow dolphins about whether it was “too soon.” Humans do.

Children, teens, and adults of all ages think about their values and how they relate to experimenting with first time sexual activity, entering sexual relationships, or how visible to make their gender and sexual relationship diversity. One of the most universal global sexual values is when, how and under what circumstances a culture, religion, family, society or legal system gives approval or celebrates our sexual debut (usually called losing one’s virginity and is almost always defined as vaginal-penile intercourse between a cisgender woman and cisgender man)       

Children and youth are often left without caring adults initiating important sexual health conversations that help them build a sexual values system. Values are a source of identifying one’s sexual standards and ethics. The six principles introduce essential ethics and values for children and teens to understand before applying them to sexual situations.

Sexual values play an important role in our ever evolving motivations for sex.

Specific sexual acts or turn-ons may have very different meanings for each partner. Values differences, when honestly and vulnerably shared between partners, can lead to closeness or painful distance. Either way, it is a conversation that brings reality and clarity where couples may have previously chosen avoidance and deception.