Pleasure

Pleasure is a primary motivation for solo-sexual activity (masturbation) and the giving and receiving between sexual partners.

What gives us sexual pleasure is often a source of conflict when our pleasure conflicts with other aspects of our overall private and public identity. A married cisgender heterosexual identified woman may find peak sexual pleasure dominating a submissive trans man that she has no emotional connection with other than the immediate moment of power exchange and erotic exploration. Too often judgments about the lack of congruence between what we are expected to find pleasurable competes with the erotic demands of our most hungry sexual desires. 

Adolescents interested in experiencing their bodies sexual pleasure either alone or with another person challenges many adults who love and care for teens. Engaging in conversation, education or accurate information with teens about sexual pleasure is typically avoided. When caregivers do have a conversation it too often emphasizes the adult’s values and judgments about teens and sexual pleasure. (i.e. they’re too young to truly understand how to feel pleasure, or they’re not ready to have sex at all, they should wait until they are older, or they should never masturbate). Throughout all stages of life from pre-teen to the final years of life, sexual health is the art of balancing one’s sexual safety and responsibility with the lifelong curiosity of pleasure, exploring sexual interests and remaining curious about the ever-changing sources of sexual pleasure.